You’re fat. You’re out of shape. You procrastinate. You have things on your To Do list from the Paleolithic era. You tell everyone about all the wonderful things that you are going to do. You’re going to lose the fat and get the six pack abs. You’re going to pack on the muscle. You are going to be hyperproductive. You are going to start that new business idea that you have been boring everyone with.
This time you mean it. Or so you tell yourself. You don’t even believe yourself any more, because you are a big, fat liar. You didn’t mean to be a liar. You really want to change. It was going to be different this time. “Just wait. I’ll show them,” you tell yourself. Yep. You are definitely going to change this time. Tomorrow. You’ll start tomorrow. Tomorrow is the perfect day to start.
You suck, but you aren’t alone.
Does any of this sound familiar? It should. I just described the vast majority of people on the planet. I’m no exception. Change is difficult. We admire those that are able to change and accomplish big things because it is so rare.
The good news is that you can stop beating yourself up over it. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You may have failed, but even successful people fail. In fact, successful people fail A LOT. Failure isn’t an option. It is a requirement. Failing doesn’t make you a failure. Giving up makes you a failure.
Why do we fail?
There is one simple reason that we fail over and over. We keep using strategies that are not effective. We do the same things over and over again like the fly that keeps smashing into the window. We think that our methods should work. They sound reasonable. Others might even tell us that it’s the approach that we should use, but do they even know? I’m skeptical.
I’ve been a massive consumer of personal development books, videos, blogs, tapes, you name it, over the last two decades. The messages start to repeat themselves. If I hear one more person tell me that I need to set “S.M.A.R.T.” goals, I’m going to smash him in the face!
Why does goal setting so often fail to provide the success that we crave? Why do we always give up on diets when we genuinely want to lose the weight? Why can’t we maintain a consistent exercise program?
When you notice that you are failing repetitively in a particular endeavor, take a step back. Ask yourself, “Why isn’t this working?” If you persist in asking this question, you will get answers. You will find that you are missing key concepts. Your understanding of the area in question is incomplete or inaccurate.
We are very fortunate. The Internet has opened up a world of answers. One of the best ways to learn to do something is to find someone who is getting the results you want and learn how they think and what they do.
As Marie Forleo says, “Everything is figureoutable.” So go to it.